Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Don't Get Your Tinsel in a Tangle
I love this saying for the holidays! It's so easy to get too busy and forget to breathe.
Christmas Quotes ~ Erma Bombeck
There's nothing sadder in this world
than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
~Erma Bombeck,
I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression
than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
~Erma Bombeck,
I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression
Christmas Quotes ~ P.J. O'Rourke
Christmas begins about the first of December
with an office party
and ends when you finally realize
what you spent,
around April fifteenth of the next year.
with an office party
and ends when you finally realize
what you spent,
around April fifteenth of the next year.
~P.J. O'Rourke, Modern Manners
Christmas Quotes ~ Dr. Seuss
And the Grinch,
with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling,
how could it be so?
It came without ribbons.
It came without tags.
It came without packages,
boxes or bags.
And he puzzled and puzzled
'till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something
he hadn't before.
What if Christmas, he thought,
doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps,
means a little bit more.
with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling,
how could it be so?
It came without ribbons.
It came without tags.
It came without packages,
boxes or bags.
And he puzzled and puzzled
'till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something
he hadn't before.
What if Christmas, he thought,
doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps,
means a little bit more.
~Dr. Seuss
Christmas Quotes ~ The Mall
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season,
a deeply religious time that each of us observes,
in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
a deeply religious time that each of us observes,
in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
~Author Unknown
Christmas Quotes ~ Shopping
Christmas is the season
when you buy this year's gifts
with next year's money.
~Author Unknown
Christmas Quotes ~ Shopping
Oh, for the good old days
when people would stop Christmas shopping
when they ran out of money.
~Author Unknown
when people would stop Christmas shopping
when they ran out of money.
~Author Unknown
Christmas Quotes ~ Dave Barry
Once again
we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season,
that very special time of year
when we join with our loved ones
in sharing centuries-old traditions
such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.
We traditionally do this in my family
by driving around the parking lot
until we see a shopper emerge from the mall,
then we follow her,
in very much the same spirit
as the Three Wise Men,
who 2,000 years ago followed a star,
week after week,
until it led them to a parking space.
we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season,
that very special time of year
when we join with our loved ones
in sharing centuries-old traditions
such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.
We traditionally do this in my family
by driving around the parking lot
until we see a shopper emerge from the mall,
then we follow her,
in very much the same spirit
as the Three Wise Men,
who 2,000 years ago followed a star,
week after week,
until it led them to a parking space.
~Dave Barry
Christmas Quotes ~ Dave Barry
In the old days,
it was not called the Holiday Season;
the Christians called it 'Christmas'
and went to church;
the Jews called it 'Hanukkah'
and went to synagogue;
the atheists went to parties and drank.
People passing each other
on the street would say
'Merry Christmas!'
or
'Happy Hanukkah!'
or
(to the atheists) '
Look out for the wall!'
it was not called the Holiday Season;
the Christians called it 'Christmas'
and went to church;
the Jews called it 'Hanukkah'
and went to synagogue;
the atheists went to parties and drank.
People passing each other
on the street would say
'Merry Christmas!'
or
'Happy Hanukkah!'
or
(to the atheists) '
Look out for the wall!'
~Dave Barry,
"Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"
Christmas Quotes ~ Richard Lamm
Christmas is a time
when kids tell Santa what they want
and adults pay for it.
Deficits are when
adults tell the government what they want
and their kids pay for it.
when kids tell Santa what they want
and adults pay for it.
Deficits are when
adults tell the government what they want
and their kids pay for it.
~Richard Lamm
Christmas Medley by Storm Front
Storm Front, a barbershop quartet, sang this Christmas Medley in July 2006 during International Barbershop Convention and had people rolling on the floor with laughter.
The song they followed up with isn't about Christmas, but it will make you smile.
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